Is this America?

I never imagined that defending the United States Capitol would be the day I questioned my place in my own country.

On January 6, 2021, I put on my uniform the same way I always had—with pride, with purpose, and with the belief that I was serving something bigger than myself. I’ve always tried to keep politics out of my job. I’m a Capitol Police officer. My responsibility is to protect people, institutions, and democracy itself. That day, I did exactly that. But what I faced inside those walls changed me forever.

As the mob pushed toward the Capitol, screaming that the election was stolen, I tried to reason with them. I told them the truth—that I voted for Joe Biden. I asked a simple question: Does my vote not count? Am I nobody?

That’s when the racial slurs started.

It was the first time in my life I had ever been called the N-word while wearing my uniform. Not as a civilian. Not as a kid. But as a police officer sworn to protect the Constitution. The insults came fast and vicious, and they cut deeper than anything physical could have. In that moment, it was clear to me that no badge, no oath, no sacrifice was enough to shield me from hate.

Afterward, I sat down in the Rotunda next to another Black officer—a friend—and told him what had happened. I broke down. I yelled out loud, “How could something like this happen? Is this America?” I sobbed on that bench, overwhelmed by the realization that the building I was defending was being desecrated by people who hated what I represented simply because of who I am. In the days that followed, other Black officers came to me and shared similar stories. I wasn’t alone—but that didn’t make it hurt any less.

When I testified before Congress, I was asked that question again—Is this America? Congressman Adam Schiff asked me what I meant when I cried those words on January 6. My answer was honest: I guess it is America. It shouldn’t be. But it is.

At the same time, I told them there’s another America too—the one I believe in. The America represented by officers who held the line, by people who believe in decency, accountability, and democracy. Seeing Republicans and Democrats sitting together on that committee mattered to me. It reminded me that there is still good worth fighting for.

I called the people who attacked us terrorists because that’s what they were. They used violence to try to overturn a democratic election. They wanted to intimidate us into submission. They wanted us to surrender our duty. But we didn’t. We held.

I didn’t testify for sympathy. I testified because there can be no healing without accountability. You can’t move on from something you refuse to acknowledge. January 6 wasn’t just a bad day—it was a warning. And if we ignore it, we invite it to happen again.

I still believe in this country. I believe in it because of the officers who stood shoulder to shoulder that day. I believe in it because democracy survived. And I believe in it because asking hard questions—like “Is this America?”—is the only way we make it better.